Critical Wit

This splendid parody from the Anglican Cyber Ordinariate amused me:

"I am the very model of the focus of great unity
I say who is to be a bishop vis-à-vis who's not to be
And when four-thirty's come and gone with tea and crumpets for each one
I read a little Johnny Donne and give thanks for impunity

I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters theological
With books and thoughts from Genesis to Greek eschatalogical
You'll never find a brighter mind just knocking 'round and killing time
The Pauline corpus whole is mine - that's why I'm Christological

Yet even with so fine a grasp on life-behind philosophy
I'll write a poem, make a vid, and burn it all to DVD
I've yet to have a thought that wasn't captured without modesty
And posted up to interwebs in matters most postmodernly

This purple cassock hides a frame that's wracked with years of self-regret
Perhaps I'd show you after ten, but not until just then, you bet
I'd like to quote 'The Body's Grace' and get along with homophiles
But unity comes with a price and Lambeth is my domicile

Because the Thames, so fast and deep, so easily o'erflows its banks
And we have all these partnerships the world around, and we give thanks
To God the Father in whose name we obfuscate and place the blame
And dare not speak the love whose fame incites us all to spank the Yanks

Who even now would like to say that what they said and what they meant
Were justice-born and justice-done and no great cause for gross lament
When some elect and some consent, it's democratic government
So let's get on our knees, repent, and sign up for the Covenant

Yet there's a place for each and all at God's communion table
And I am called an Instrument to say that we are able
If we could only change the tide and Unity could take a ride
And Faith and Order lay aside ... Perhaps it's just a fable"

 

Wit is perhaps the most potent weapon against the bully or the egoist.  It is a shame that it seems to be necessary to use it against the ++ABC. But twas ever thus.  Ever since the wonderful Dom Gregory Dix OSB replied to the question "Don't you trust the Bench of Bishops?" with the observation that Scripture tells us not to put our trust in Princes - even princes of the Church and noted that the sign of a bishop was a crook and that of an Archbishop a double cross (Oww!), the Episcopate have been fair game for satiric wit on their words and deeds.  Of course, these days Dom Gregory would I suspect have been part of the Ordinariate of Our Lady of Walsingham.  ++ Rowan can console himself that Robert Runcie was lampooned as a puppet by Spitting Image and he hasn't had to endure that.

++ Rowan at his best.

The ABC's opening address to the English Synod is (for once) something I can largely agree with. See it at http://www.archbishopofcanterbury.org/2752 Gone is his usual obfuscation: it is a clear, subtle and nuanced analysis of the state of play we find ourselves in as a communion. Credibly, he describes LGBT rights as marks of a civilised society and describes the Ugandan legislation as "repugnant". He also points to the inherent tension between the American advances on orders and same sex relationships and the needs of the Church in the developing world to be free to witness without the accusation of being part of a moral threat to society (for that's how an LGBT friendly Church looks in some countries). There is a tension here between two conflicting good aims. But realistically, I very much doubt if the TEC will go back to the "gracious restraint" they practiced for 3 years, given that the conservative faction kept on getting African Bishops to interfere across diocesan and Provincial boundaries. The temper of the Church is (I suspect ) equally agin too much provision for the opponents of women priests. Last time around, Parliament insisted on compensation. I suspect neither a New Labour or a Cameroon Govt will make any such demands given the significant numbers who left, taking the money only to return when they found the ecclesiastical culture over the Tiber not to their taste. They actually mean what they say about obedience and that is not something FiF clergy are used to, either temperamentally or experientially.

I don't agree with his stance on the Equalities Bill - but he is right to urge caution about letting the Executive and legislature become too much the moral police of society. It was a bad mistake under Thatcher and likely to be worse, were British politics to take a radical swing to the Right. He also makes the nice Tractarian point about the Church being the right body to police its moral policies, give that it is a body which no one is compelled to join - but when you do you implicitly accept it's authority within boundaries to make pronouncements and decide policies which reflect it's understanding of the implications of the Gospel. Your Grace, I broadly agree with you - but you should have said this in November!

I don't BELIEEVE it!

The Diocese of Los Angeles elect a lesbian suffragan Bishop and the ABC has a press statement out in time for the Sunday papers. And still thunderous silence on the Ugandan Bill.

I will not swear; I will not curse. I will state candidly that, in my personal opinion, Rowan Williams is morally bankrupt and repugnant and I would neither give nor receive communion to him or from him. I am no longer in Communion with the Archbishop of Canterbury. I am a Scottish Episcopalian and remain in Communion with God, as our predecessors were before the Synod of Laurencekirk.

(Which in real terms, makes hee-haw difference to anything, but makes me feel better).

B****r it, I'm off to the pictures.

Festival fatigue.

I was a good wee boy who signed up for 2 events this week to listen to Rabbi Lionel Blue (who I met years ago when he was leading a retreat in sunny Millport) at the Festival. Sadly, LB is seek & no weel and was replaced unexpectedly by Peter Tatchell!! I still toddled along and was surprised (pleasantly) by his arguments: his radicalism springs from love of fellow human being not anger, it all started as a teenager campaigning against the death penalty and the Vietnam War in Oz-land. Rather more to this controversial figure than I had expected. His dialogue at lunchtime with +Gene Robinson was very illuminating and he had a pop at the ABC (the Beard of Cantuar)for hypocrisy. Well, what do you expect, matey? The late Dom Gregory Dix said: "the sign of a Bishop is a crook and that of an Archbishop a double cross". And my old mentor Fr Donald Nicholson used to advise me: "Put not your trust in princes - especially Princes of the Church!" (Oddly, he succeeded Dom Gregory as Parish Priest of Beaconsfield!)

I heard +GR preach on the Transfiguration this morning. It was perfectly orthodox doctinally, shed a new light on a Bible passage for me (unusual in most sermons I hear!) and was evangelical in the best sense of the word (sharing personal faith and experience in a simple yet profound way). He also celebrates Mass very well - not every Bishop can! I've really become rather a fan of the wee man!

Now, I'm cream crackered and off to walk Max in the pouring rain beofre curling up in front of the telly for a bit - all this running about to Edinburgh fair tires ye oot! Then tomorrow - the Archbishop of Burma!

Dougal's Anne Robinson moment.

The Ginger dominatrix is not keen on our Welsh brothers and sisters. This morning's London Times had the following brief news item:

"A man who tried to gas himself in a car but then changed his mind and lit a cigarette admitted arson....He was given a 12 month Community Service order at Newport Crown Court and told to take an enhanced thinking skill course."

I know I shouldn't laugh but...

Newport is in Wales. Rowan Williams is from Wales. QE II is head of the CofE and Court Orders are issued in her name. Any chance of her ordering RW to take an enhanced thinking skills course before he chairs Lambeth? I know it's short notice, but..

Just a thought.