No, I've not been in the jail or hospital, but my lack of blogging has been health related. I've been off work since mid March after a bad breakdown and am still off work, though much better. Marvellous stuff prozac is when you take it properly, avoid booze and combine it with 2 sessions per week of Psychoanalysis. It didn't seem very bright to blog when in the depths: too much painful s**t going on and my editorial facility was not at all functional!
It was bad, I bought razor blades one day (and binned them the next). A number of things are clear to me: I hate living alone and in small Scottish towns. I have totally lost myself over the years and my sense of identity. And I might well be suffering from an undiagnosed autistic condidtion. Which all means being a Rector is not a good thing for me to be. I need more structure in my life which is imposed rather than self generated. So there is a lot of searching a decison making going on just now and running a parish will not be part of my life for very much longer. There's also been some good stuff: living in community, rediscovering that I am likable. Actually finding life without a lot of my props is possible (I've just stopped smoking - day 2 and I haven't killed anyone yet!!). So mind me in your prayers as I look for a job and a life.
