Trusting in the Higher Power.

An appropriate theme I suspect, given that today is my 3rd AA birthday.  I'm just glad still to be here and not in a grave and glad to be sober.  I had a good meeting at my home group tonight and came across this prayer that some might say sums up what it means to trust in your Higher Power:

“Lord, give me the strength to greet the coming day in peace. 

Help me in all things to rely on your holy will. 

Reveal your will to me every hour of the day. 

Bless my dealings with all people. 

Teach me to treat all people who come to me throughout the day

with peace of soul and with firm conviction 

that your will governs all. 

In all my deeds and words guide my thoughts and feelings. 

In unexpected events, let me not forget that all are sent by you. 

Teach me to act firmly and wisely, 

without embittering and embarrassing others. 

Give me the physical strength to bear the labours of this day. 

Direct my will, teach me to pray, 

and you yourself, pray in me. Amen.”   

Metropolitan Philaret of Moscow

Reserves depleting

By which I mean my emotional reserves. I've actually been quite chipper and trying to work my 12 step programme a bit better, but I seem to have hit a patch where I get distracted by others needs. Having to put in a bit extra at the house due to others family illnesses wasn't a snag on Wednesday - I thought "I'm OK, I'll go to a meeting on Friday". Come Friday, I ended up providing some emotional support for a friend who had a distressing phone call. Forget the meeting. I went with them for a drink in a pub (I had Appletise) and felt very uncomfy: noisy, others drinking and I knew a pint would help me relax and take the edge off things. I also knew it would probably bugger up the rest of my life, so stuck to the soft stuff. However, I feel really quite drained and edgy today, so I am off to a meeting to stiffen up the resolve etc. Because I'm meeting Ma who was told yesterday that a pal of hers with Parkinson's had just died. So more drain on MY reserves - I need a top up! And am going for it. I don't have to do this tout seul and it's OK to say "This sucks and I'm stressing".