Monday 23 November 2009

Self-Affirming

From Psalm 139

I will thank you because I am marvellously made;
your works are wonderful, and I know it well.
My body was not hidden from you,
while I was being made in secret
and woven in the depths of the earth.
How deep I find your thoughts, O God!
how great is the sum of them!
If I were to count them,
they would be more in number than the sand;
to count them all, my life span would need to be like yours.

Mercifully, the bad head days are further apart and this opening peice of psalmody from Evening prayer tonight just caught my current mood. I am wonderfully made, not fearfully. I know deep down that I am made in God's image and loved, even when I can't find it in me to love me or to believe that I am loveable. And I am loved body and soul by God, who hates nothing that he has made. I need to keep that thought there day by day - to reprogramme my brain to reflect what I truly believe and to accept that this is true of me and for me, as well as for others.

3 comments:

  1. Yes, we are wonderfully made. Although, to be honest, if I had been given a say in the matter, I might have added a couple of inches here and there.

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  2. fantastic psalm - has kept me sane for over 20 years now. despite the crap of the last year, the sentiments expressed here are the straws I've been clinging on to, and that promise is the one thing i know to be true despite any other darkness/guilt/feelings of inadequacy.

    hang in there dougal!

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  3. Wonderful psalm and reflection, frdougal!

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