Am I Victor Meldrew's wee brother? I nipped out for a swim this afternoon and kept glaring at the young ladies hogging the centre lane of the pool thinking "I thought the schools had gone back". In due course it transpired they had just left school at the summer break. I also meditated on the American elections: are the Republicans getting their candidates from the "Round the Horne" leftover pile? Ageing war hero Binkie Hugabomb and Governor Celia Moosestrangler. Do I need to get out more often? Probably.