Yes, we all have days like that. The last couple have really been "bad head" days for me. Putting together Wednesday's farewell service at Falkirk has been a fairly painful experience. Still, it helped to be told "What you are feeling is normal" and opening out to others and saying "This feels really c**p" helped too (actually, what I said was "I feel like a turkey laying the table for Christmas dinner"). No crawling back into a bottle (but I spent an extra 90 mins in bed this morning before doing boy meets world). Gradually, as the day has moved on, I've got a bit less down and it has felt better. The black dog may bite but it does let go after a bit.
I reckon even someone brimming over with serotonin would find what you're doing depressing. You're doing well.
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I think you will look back on this and be grateful for your opportunity for closure. When I was made to leave one parish because of my drinking problem I was almost whisked away in the dead of night with a blanket over my head, despite lots of positive and good things that had happened in my ministry there. That was the cause of a lot of resentment at the time, and it certainly didn't help me get better as quickly as I may have done.
ReplyDeleteGo, celebrate the brilliant bits, the constructive bits, the happy bits, the fact that you touched many people positively and meaningfully, and give thanks to God for the experience of being their priest.
And be grateful for the opportunity of closure!
Thanks folks, you're right. It was just a rough bit.
ReplyDeleteExcellent advice from Kenny. Another thing you can celebrate and give thanks for is the mere fact that you had the courage to go through with the farewell service. That can't have been easy.
ReplyDeleteIt may have left you feeling rung out like a wet rag, but the service was very special.
ReplyDeleteI hope you felt all the positive affection that the congregation have for you.
Actually, I felt like the bride's mothers' hankie, but it was good and right and yes i did feel all the positive affection.
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