Tuesday, 2 March 2010

They never taught us THIS at Coates Hall!

I'm back on a week of In service training, so there has been little of interest to report in Dougal world. Until today. Epilepsy training. It is a serious and fairly common illness. So it isn't really a matter for humour. But the training had a surreal moment. Part of the competency we have to have is the administration of Emergency or Rescue medication. Fine. Stop and think. If someone is having a full blown and prolonged seizure, you ain't gonna be able to give them a tablet. Nope, it's liquid meds here, which either involves squirting it into the mouth so it can be absorbed via the cheek flesh or what with beautiful clinical precision is described as "rectal administration". Yup, shoot the stuff up the old jacksie. Right, now how are you going to demonstrate this competency? Mercifully we were not asked to volunteer to be a practice dummy! We were given one instead!

I met Bill the Bahookie this afternoon. A latex set of buttocks with a life size orifice on which to practice the administration of liquid medication. Gloves and KY jelly were provided - and I got paid to do this!!!! I can only say that if I ever develop severe epilepsy (and I hope I never do) I get diazapam rather than paraldhyde - the tube is a heck of a lot smaller and it doesn't melt plastic!

And I said Mass at Spikey Mike's this morning before going to train! You really couldn't make it up!


  1. What an interesting life you lead!

    (By the way, wasn't Rubber Buttocks the name of a blind black 1920s jazz trumpeter?)

  2. You were made for this job, Dougal. I haven't stopped laughing for the last ten minutes!

  3. I dunno if Rubber Buttocks was a jazz trumpeter - but there was this curate I knew in Brighton...